alilove107

Worried....

Mon, 23 May 2005 17:31:38 GMT

what do you do when you have a friend and you are worried about their life. Everything is falling apart for them and they are on the verve of a breakdown. How do you help them? I am so worried that they are going to do something stupid or crazy. This is the same friend that anytime something bad happen to me... they were always there for me. Now when its my turn to help them... I don't know what to do. It sucks to watch them fall apart right before your eyes and you can't do anything to help them.

WHAT DO I DO?!?!

Today in the world

Thu, 19 May 2005 01:00:47 GMT

Monday...
I hung out at the house all day catching up on some sleep then Monday night me, Jade and Lillie went to the movies and saw House Of Wax... which was very scary to me. But of course.. Jade and Lillie had to make fun of me for being a scared. After the movie we decided to have a little slumber party at my house to catch up and just hang out. It was fun until Lillie wouldn't go to the guest room so we tried to squeeze 3 people onto 1 bed. It was too funny for words. But we needed this time together. It's great to have Lillie back home.

Tuesday....
Jade, Me and Lillie ran some errands together and got Jade's car fix. After that we went to get something to eat and just hung out. Then me and Jade went to recital and it was a great show. There were alot of good pieces. I like the Bangin Bs, "The Since you been gone piece" and the Posse as usually. The A guard came up with alot of good pieces, they have no idea how proud of them I am. The Tribute piece was cute. The whole show was good. Very emotional. Not just for the seniors, but for the people who ever marched with the seniors and got to experience the closeness. I can't believe that they are graduating and leaving. I am not gonna lie I am going to miss these crazy people like you have not idea. I had alot of good time with them that I am not going to forget. When they were sharing memories and stories me and Jade started crying. I think that this was the perfect ending to the guard season.

After the recital me and Jade went to Hardrock to hang out with some friends and then went to Paradise to eat.

To the guard seniors: you guys mean alot to me. I am going to miss you guys sooooooo much. We share alot of memories and I hope you guys succeed in anything you do. I love you!!!

P.S. Get together @ Alex's house on Friday May 20th @ 7pm!!! Everyone's welcome!!

Just a thought

Sun, 15 May 2005 04:54:31 GMT

Yesterday I had a great time... it was a great way to catch up with people. I haven't seen them in a while. Anthony, Mario, Luis, Thais Cynthia, Vanessa and others. It was great that they came to my house... It was sad that no one from guard could make it... but they were busy, I am hoping to spend time with them before they leave for vacation or college.

It felt great catching up with them, despite the fact that Anthony and Mario were taking the wheel chair out to the streets and pushing each other down the street. I think the neighbors were going to shoot them. Even though they all go to FIU... it sucks that I don't see them more. That's another reason why I am going to the south campus, to see them more.

Today was pretty much clean up and then go to work. Work was nothing exciting. Sunday... I think I am going to sleep in and go to work.

I think I am going have another get together on Friday... but it is going to be more for the guard people. I hope that you guys can make it.

For those who couldn't make it on Friday....

I am having another get together this Friday May 20th. @ 7pm

Everyone's welcome!!!

if you can make it call me or text me at 305 322 2124.

Some food for thought

Thu, 12 May 2005 01:19:28 GMT

For the past few days I have realize that life is too short to stress over insignificant things. Too short to try to get people to like you or to change yourself for people. Hanging out with Jesse has made realize that I don't need to change to be accepted. He likes me for the person that I am and accepts my shortcomings.

The people in my life are there for me no matter what. For example anytime I need to talk to Jade S. I know that I can pick up the phone and she will always try to make time for me. And hanging out with Lillie made me realize that true friends accepted you with all your flaws. I have come to the conclusion that having handful of trusted friends is all I need in life.

For the class of 2005: You are about to embark on a whole new journey in your life. My advice is to cherish the moments you have left in high school and cherish the moments you spend with your friends. Fight for your friendships. Even though some of you are going to different places, just remember true friends are just a phone call away. Don't let distance be a factor. Congrats seniors!!!!

Update.....long over due

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 13:27:42 GMT

Wow it has been a long time since I have update...

So let me just give you the short version. I auditioned for the FIU winterguard and I am marching the FIU winterguard, which is real exciting. They are a great group of people. I am working and going to school, which doesn't leave me time to have fun and hang out like I used to. Because of that I don't get to see the people I love. I got to see the guard perform at least 2 times and both times were really really good. But that also made me realize how much I love these people. I really do miss them and miss marching with them. But it also made realize that I am not part of their world anymore and I need to move on. I have decided to stop going to Flanagan for a while. Just watching them during the Flanagan Invitional and how everyone have their own little cliques and inside joke, just verify that I am not a Falcon anymore and I need to move on. I am going to cherish the friendship I have with people(Marissa, Jade, Andrea, Alessa), but I do need to just move on.

some guys are so selfish!!!!!

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 15:54:54 GMT

why do guys have to be such selfish creatures? why do they always find a way to make you cry? it seems like they always want to see you get emotional as if they get off on it. I hate the fact that two guys I care so much about can't even get along. They both want to give me a choice. I hate the fact that I am torn in two because I have to choose between, the guy I am with now (Clifford) and my first love (George). Why does it have to be like that. It is not like I am with George, it is the fact he wants to make sure that I am waiting for him when he decide to come back to Florida. Clifford hates the fact that my heart does not completely belong to him, and I can't change that no matter how hard I try, George will always have a piece of my heart. I don't want to choose and I don't think I should make a choice. But I don't want to lose either of them because I care about them so much that it makes me sick. Me and Clifford have been together for only 2 months, but me and George went out for almost 2 1/2 years. Me and George have a history together that no one can ever understand and the fact that Clifford can't understand that makes me soooo upset. I just want them both to understand where i am coming from and I want them to accept the fact that I have two important guys in my life and not force me to make a choice between one or the other.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 03:32:48 GMT

This weekend was intresting...

Friday- went to work and then went to the football game. It was great to see everyone and watch the guard perform.

Saturday- went to the FIU winterguard audition and got my ass beat. Me and Jade S. were so sore. Ariel and Termaine beat our asses up. But I met alot of great people. After the audition we rushed and we went to the Flanagan marching show. The whole show was really good. Was very proud of the guard. After the show, me and Jade S. were beat so we went back to my house and we watched movies and went to sleep.

Sunday- went to the audition again and we got our asses beat again by Ariel. I had fun though. I think that FIU's show is going to be hot and I think that the concept is good. Luis is a smart man that has medal many guards before and I hope he does that with FIU.

anyways this weekend was good, but I didn't get to celebrate my birthday the way I wanted to. So I think that I am going to celebrate my birthday this weekend. I don't know yet.

Well kiddos that was my eventful and fun weekend!!!!!!
goodnite

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 01:14:20 GMT

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 2 DAYS!!!!!

THURSDAY, I WILL BE 19 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 01:49:11 GMT

hey kids....

These days have been so busy with work and school and other aspects in my life. Sometimes, I wish I was back in my senior year of high school. Don't get me wrong, college is cool and fun, but there are so many things to worry about and sometimes I want to scream. And plus, I haven't seen certain people for a long time and I feel that I am losing contact with them and that hurts.

Anyways, I have to prepare for winter guard audition and I haven't touch a piece of equipment in a long while and I feel so rusty on the flag. But the good thing is that Jade S. have a flag at home. So, at least I get to spin. Me and Jade S. are auditioning together so I am excited.

I can honestly say that I miss talking to everyone and I know that everyone have been busy, but this is what I am purposing...

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 22:54:34 GMT

One week and counting till my birthday...

19th Birthday how exciting!!!!

Happy B-day

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 02:07:57 GMT

Well this hurricane has made me crazy. I think that I am going to move away from Florida when I get the chance to.

The hurricane might have ruin the Saturday, but it didn't ruin ruin the Friday night we had.

On Friday, we celebrated Sara's b-day. At 5, we went to the Hard Rock and checked into our room. By 6, we went to the Olive Garden with Sara's parent and we were having so much fun. The waiter sung her happy birthday. Her parents started telling storiesv about her when she was little,I couldn't stop laughing. We had a great time. By 8, we dropped Sara's parent back at the house and we back to the hotel room and we got ready to go to the casino. I have came to the conclusion that we go to the casino way too much. When all the dealers know your name, you know that you go to this place way too much. Anyways, we stayed at the casino until the morning and then we went back to the hotel and chilled with a couple of dealers we knew and we partied.

But, since did have a hurricane to deal with, Jade S., Sara and my mom made us check out early and go home during the hurricane. But, the good part is that Clifford came over we chilled in the house during the hurricane. My sister and her boyfriend were at the house when I got there. So, both our boyfriends were at the house and all they can do is play video games. We were ready to kill them.

Sunday, we dropped off the guys and me and Sheena stayed home and just slept and chilled for the entire day. We were kinda happy, the house was quiet.

Excited!!!! my b-day is in 2 weeks and I think I want to have a party. I don't know what I want. My mom thinks that I should have a party, but i don't know. The bad part is that the weekend of my b-day, I have the Winterguard audition for FIU and I have the marching show for Flanagan. So i think I will celebrate my b-day, the weekend after.

2 WEEKS AND COUNTING............UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

well kids....

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 13:16:30 GMT

This has been a very interesting and productive weekend. First, on Friday went to this lecture that I needed to go to for my class. It was interesting. Jade S. went with me and we were cracking jokes the whole time, it was so funny. The people in front of us, were UPPPPPPPPSET... Anyways, after that me and Jade met up with Lillie and we went bowling with some of her friends from Alliance Open and World guard. It was fun, they were telling me about what is going to happen this year with the world guard and with the other guard. They are a bunch of goof balls.

On Saturday, it was my sister's b-day and we went out to dinner to Chilis. It was me, my mom, my sister(of course) her boyfriend, my cousins and Jade. We all ganged up on my sister and started trading stupid stories about her. She was laughing about them too. I had a great time. My sister got to order drinks because she turned the big 21, so she order strawberry daquiries. It was funny. After dinner, me, my sister and all the other kids went back to the house and were partying it up. I had a blast with my sister. My mom decided to go over her friend's house so she wouldn't hear the noise of the party. I think that it was for the best because my sister got so wasted on Saturday........but me, I got a little tipsy.

On Sunday, I worked and went home and got ready to go out with Clifford. We went to dinner and we went back to my house and chilled there for the rest of the nite. It felt so good to spend time with him.

This weekend is Sara's b-day and her brother rented a hotel room at the Hard Rock for us, so I am kinda excited. So this weekend we are going to PARTY!!!!

Update.........long over due

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 14:00:10 GMT

wow....

it has been a while since i have updated this journal. I have been having a great time in college. I have the coolest teacher.....but the down side is that I have a lot of boring books to read and a lot of notes to write....but I can deal with that.

On the brighter side.....last Friday was Jade S. b-day and we partied it up on Friday at the Hard Rock. It was soooo much fun. We dressed up and we went played poker and we danced at the club for a while. There was this guy that kept buying Jade shots and of course she took them........so I ended up having to drive home cause the girl was too tipsy to get behind the wheel. We got back home around 8am the next morning and we crashed on the bed and slept until 3pm when I had to get up and go home and get ready to go back out with Clifford, his friends and Jade. We went to dinner and then we went to the beach. I went off with Clifford alone and we talked for a while. We talked about the future and we talked about our plans. I think I am starting to fall in love with this guy and I kinda like the feeling.

Anyways.....I am so excited my b-day is in 3 weeks and I can't wait. I am planning to have a party at my house or dinner and movie thing. I don't know yet. But anyways.....I'm turning 19 and I am so excited. EVERYONE'S INVITED!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I miss u Jade and Marissa. We need to get together soon because I have so much things to fill u in on.

P.S.S. Don't think I forgot about u Roey, Caro, Kelly, Amanda, Andrea, Eric, Fausto,Lia and Pablo...........I miss u all so much!!!!!!!

Day 1 after Frances

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 19:00:16 GMT

well, this is the first day without Frances in the air. I am so happy that is hurricane is over and we can return to normal life. All we have to do is clean up the downed trees that the wind knocked over. We still have the shutters up......but my mother doesn't know if she wants to keep them up because of hurricane Ivan.

We had to take to our chance with the hurricane on Friday because my grandma had a mild heart attack and we had to rush her to the emergency room. Boy that was the scariest time of my life. my heart was racing. I thought I was going to lose my mind. When we got back home we went to our separate room and we just sat there in silence and I just prayed for her.

I spent the whole time talking on the phone with Clifford, Jade S. and Danny. I also studied for my classes when I was not on the phone. I got so bored that I was willing to leave the house and take my chances with the hurricane. I think I was catching the worst case of cabin fever. But this weekend, I learned alot about people...... especially Clifford and Jade S. Frances was such a long storm and I think that I was gonna lose my mind.

Anyways, I have to get back into my routine and just forget this weekend. And get ready for this upcoming week.

Hurricane DAY

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 02:23:10 GMT

I've had a busy day.......

I hung with Jade for a while until I was called home and my mom was panic about this hurricane. I was busy getting the cars ready and getting the supplies for hurricane and it was busy out there. I have been the house for like 6 hours and it feels like a prison because of the shutters.

I am really bum about this hurricane because it ruins my plans for Labor day. I had plans to go out with Jade and Clifford and now I am stuck in my house waiting for a storm that may not come.

I am happy with all aspect of my life.......but the down side is that I don't get to see the people I care about all the time. I just want to kidnap them and just have fun........ like we use to. But other than that......i am happy with school......work and OTHER things that is going on in my life.

P.S. I miss u guys

P.S. Everyone be safe!!!!!!!!

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 02:09:49 GMT

HAPPY HURRICANE DAY

Beautiful day in the neighborhood

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 20:35:50 GMT

hello boys and girls..........

it's been a long time since I have updated. So here it goes........

On Saturday, Jade S. and I went to the casino and we had a fun time. We met these old men that were trying to get something from Jade S. and they were really gross men. They had to be about 50 something years old. We hang out with Efrain and then I called up Clifford and he and his friends met up with me and Jade S. Me and Clifford went off with each other while Jade continue to play poker. We left the casino around 330am cause I had to go to work the next day.

Sunday, I went into work around 10am and I had to work until 5. Work was especially busy. Everyone hears about a hurricane coming and they want to buy up the whole store. I never rang up so much water, tuna,flash light and batteries in my life. When I got off of work around 5, I went home and took a shower and just chilled. Around 7pm my friend Danny called me and asked if I wanted to chill and he came over and we chilled and watched the VMAs together. Wow........ the VMAs sucked this year. But anyways......I had a good time.... Danny kept cracking jokes about everyone on TV. After Danny left, I called Clifford and we spent the rest of the night talking to each other. I'm seriously starting to have feelings for this kid and I just don't know what to do about it.

Anyways...Monday was my first day of school for the fall semester and I had to go to Geology class and my math class and the bad part about everything is that my class are so far apart in time. I have like a 2 and half hour wait between each class and I can't go home because the campus is so far from my house and driving back and forth to the house is a bitch because of traffic. Anyways........other than that I like my classes.

Tuesday....I got to see Clifford because he has classes on Tuesdays and THursday and I got to hang out with him for a little while before his classes.

All and all I am having a good week. I am going to school with my best friend and I am starting to move on from my ex boyfriend. I feel like my life is going my way and I haven't felt that way in a long time. I finally feel like I have control of my life.

P.S.~ I love you Marissa(congrats)
I love you Jade B.

P.S.S. I MISS YOU BOTH!!!!!!!! GET TOGETHER SOON!!!!!!

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 17:45:44 GMT

well these last few day have been real eventful.......

Thursday, I was recovering from being sick and I stayed home. But, Clifford being the sweet guy that he is, he kept me company for the nite. We watched tv and talked. He was so sweet, he gave up his nite with his friends to hang out with me and my sick behind.

Friday, Jade S. came back into town and we hung out. We went to dinner and met up with Clifford and his friends and hung out for the nite. We had a great time. I am kinda happy that Jade S. is back in town. I was lost without her this week.

Monday.......I start my fall semester of college. I'm excited... that means that I am a college student and I am starting college life and all the ups and downs that comes with it. I'm so excited!!!!!!!

I don't want to go to school

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 02:39:14 GMT

These last few days have been great. Sunday, I went to work and....... it was work. Funny yet somewhat fustrating. After work, I hung out with Marissa and Jade and we had great bonding time. Watched tv, created ankelets and just talk with each other. Anytime I have a problem, I know that I can talk to them about it and I know that they will be there for me.

After I came home, Clifford called me and we just talked for hours about things, I have found out so many things about him and how much we have in common.

Today, Clifford picked me up and we spent the day together. We went to breakfast, then went to Super walmart to pick up a few things and then we went to the mall and chilled for a while. Then after the mall we went back to his house and watched a few movies and just chill out. We have been getting so close lately and I have been having so much fun together and it sucks that my vacation is almost done and I have to go back to school. I don't want to go, I want to just have fun for the rest of the year.

I don't want to go.........

THANK U!!!!!!

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 00:53:19 GMT

well, today I went to work today. It was intresting. Everyone was just trying to be funny and goofy.

After work, I took a shower and talked to Marissa for a while and we had a great talk. I sure do miss her. We have become so close and she made my summer so much fun and I appreciate her for everything she does for me. SHE's MY HOMIE!!!

Anywho, tonite I think I am going to chill at home and ask Clifford to come over and chill with me. I don't feel like going anywhere. I don't know, work has wore me out today and I feel like being lazy.

After this summer I realize how much my friends mean to me. I also realize who are my real friends and I think I am satisfy with those people having my back. Without these people this pass year, I don't know what I would do. Their support has helped me through the most difficult year of my life. All the things I have been through..... can break anyone's spirit, but my friends have made me realize that with support and love, you can get through anything.

Thank you to everyone(you know who you are) for the love and support this past year.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

Frustrated!!!!!

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 01:07:57 GMT

well, today was any other day for me. I went to work and once again I was frustrated by the stupid customers of Walmart. But Marissa left a text that made my day. THANKS MARISSA <3 U!!!!!!

After work, I called Jade B. and talked to her for a while and then called Jade S. to come over and she is here right now watching Freak Friday. We are still deciding what to do tonite. I think I am going to call Clifford up and see what he wants to do. We may just have a chill session over my house. Last time we did that I was fun, so we might do that or go to Hard Rock and go dancing. Either way.... I am going to have fun tonite.

I really want to hang with my friends this weekend. I haven't seen them in a week and I really miss them. I miss talking to them about everything that is on my mind. I don't know if they can out this weekend, but a girl can hope can't she?

4 girls!!!!!!

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 03:11:38 GMT

well today was a good day. We all got up very early......around 12pm and we had we all showered and had something to eat and we chilled at my house for a while. All the while me and Lillie are throwing things at each other and beating each other up. Man......she can hit for a little person. While all this is happening.......Jade is cracking up so we decided to beat her up which was funnier!!!! We left the house around 3 to chill at the mall. It was funny because we all bought matching braclets and necklaces. We stayed there for about 2 hours and we went out to eat and headed to the Hardrock to go to meet up with the Clifford and his group so we can chill with each other.

We all headed to Clifford's house and we were just watching TV and playing video games. Not me......... me and Clifford decided to go for a walk. It was great bonding time together.

Right now, I am getting ready to go back to the HardRock Casino so we can go dancing in the club and just hang with each other.

I am bummed though because Jade is leaving for New York for a week and we are not going to have the fun we've been having. Even though Jade is right behind as I type this....... she knows how much I am going to miss her annoying ass. She has been my partner in crime for this whole week and she has been cheering me up this whole week and making sure I won't cry.

I still can't shake this funny feeling i have been feeling lately. Sometimes, it just makes me so sad that it brings me to tears and the worst part is that I can't explain this feeling. I really wish that I can't put my fingers on these feeling, but I can't and that is the most fustrating part of everything.

Ma

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 05:04:23 GMT

hey, today was a great day. I went to FIU and got all my register stuff done and then went to the mall with Jade and Sara. We had a ball together.

Later that afternoon I went to the casino with Jade, Sara and Lillie. I won big money. Sooooo exciting. After we went to dinner and had some great bonding time together.

We decided that we were going to have big sleepover at my house. They are right behind me bugging the shizza out of me, but I love them to death.

Tomorrow we are going to chill by the pool and perhap meet up with Clifford and some of his friends and chill for a while. WHo knows what is going to happen with these girls.

Well, things feel so weird right now, I just can't put my finger on it and it is hard to describe, but I am really starting to miss everyone and I know that it is going to be weird for a while and I hate that fact. But what can you do?

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 18:39:10 GMT

yesterday was really fun. I went to work and it was alright and then when I got home, I had a long conversation with George. it was so nice to talk to him again and then Maell picked me up and we went to the band camp to watch the performance of the marching band. The sound is going to look really good. After the performance to the picnic, I had fun but i started to realize that we are going our separate way.

I left earlier than I thought because this feeling of sadness was taking over. That was the time I realize that they are going a different direction than i am.

I went home and that was when Jade S. called me up and we hung out for the rest of the night at my house.

I need to register for classes and I need to start getting ready for practices or i am going to be the weak link on the team.

got to go folks!!!!!!

<3 u
Alex

BAND CAMP!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 15:00:59 GMT

Yesterday was a good day. After school, I went to the band camp. It was good to see everyone again and it was good to see the band and the new guard members. I can't wait to see the end result on Friday(I won't forget Marissa), the band is going to sound great and the guard is going to look great too, I can't wait. I sure do miss everyone(even though I saw them a couple of days ago.) I miss u all so much!!!!!!!

Did I forget to mention how good Justin looks. DCI did a body good!!!!!! I am not the only one that thinks that. Cleia and Lisa Moore thought the same thing and I don't blame them.

Ok, ok back to the journal. I wish I had the chance to talk to everyone. I mean really talk to them. There is somethig I need to tell them. Some thing I need them to know and want them to know and I want to tell them before it's too late. I know I will have my chance to say what I need to say.

Anyway Congrats to the 2004-2005 FLANAGAN MARCHING BAND

2004-2005 FLANAGAN FALL COLOR GUARD

you guys are going to do awesome this season and I am proud of all of you!!!!!!!